ENOUGH
An Inspirational Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Do you have a capacity for contentment?
Do you know when enough is enough?
I am sure you have read a version of this meaningful inspirational story:
A fisherman lived on a tropical island. He fished for his family and had plenty of time to play with his children, to enjoy the beauty around him and to be a good neighbour.
A yacht arrived carrying a wealthy entrepreneur. The fisherman took him out for a day’s fishing.
As the day went on the entrepreneur looked at the beautiful island with its silver sand fringed with palm trees, the calm blue sea filled with a rainbow of darting fish and saw the opportunity for development and making lots of money.
He was a magnanimous man so he thought he must help the fisherman by offering him the idea, so he said to the fisherman, “Why don’t you build a hotel and encourage tourists to come to the island?”
“A hotel?” the fisherman asked perplexed.
“Yes, a hotel,” the businessman said, “In fact you should build a holiday village with a sports complex so people can come and relax. It could be so successful that you could build an air strip so you can offer the whole package to the tourists so you can cut out the middle man and make even greater profits.”
“Why should I do that?” asked the fisherman.
“You would make lots of money and be rich of course!” replied the entrepreneur.
“How long would it take?” asked the fisherman
“I would think it would take ten years to be really successful,” answered the entrepreneur.
“What would I do with all that money?” enquired the fisherman.
“You could go on exotic holidays to a beautiful island where you could fish, play with your children and have plenty of time to enjoy the beauty all around you” replied the entrepreneur.
“But that is exactly what I am doing now, isn’t it?” asked the bewildered fisherman.
There is a Chinese saying – he who knows that enough is enough will always have enough – so as I said in the beginning, “If you know when enough is enough, you will always have enough”.
Money is like petrol in a car. Money is not the car, money is not the destination. The petrol in your car enables you to go from place A to place B. Now suppose you have reached your destination place B. Now money [“petrol”] will also enable you to go from place B to place C – but suppose you are happy and content at being at place B and do not want to go to place C, is the petrol of any use? It is the same with money.
It would be apt to quote Warren Buffet: “I really like my life. I've arranged my life so that I can do what I want... I get to do what I like to do every single day of the year…”
Dear Reader, may I wish you happiness now and here, wherever you are and contentment with whatever you have.
VIKRAM KARVE
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
Showing posts with label values. Show all posts
Showing posts with label values. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Marathi Movie Review
Movie Review
AEVDHE SE AABHAAL
A Remarkable Contemporary Thought-Provoking Marathi Film with a most relevant message.
[ Reviewed by VIKRAM KARVE ]
Divorce is no longer an ugly word. It’s happening all around us. Rising expectations, coupled with diminishing tolerance levels, are taking their toll, even in the middle-class milieu of “conservative” towns and cities like Pune. Everyone wants a “perfect” relationship and “ideal” marriage, but they want it on their own terms. The modern mantra seems to be that if a relationship is not working it is better to sever it, split up, rather than endure and make efforts to patch up.
There are many stakeholders in a marriage, and divorce; the main ones being the husband, the wife, and the children. Aevdhe Se Aabhaal vividly portrays the repercussions of divorce on children, innocent victims who suffer for no fault of theirs.
Ten year old Bunty [played brilliantly by Rutvik Nadkarni] lives in Pune with his mother [Pratiksha Lonkar], a bank manager, separated from her husband [Ashok Shinde] who works in Mumbai. Bunty loves both his parents and looks forward to spending “quality time” with his father during his monthly visits. Now why the parents have split is a mystery as relationships seem quite cordial and amicable. [In my opinion “Amicable Divorce” is a most inexplicable oxymoron – if you can amicably divorce, why not amicably stay together? I thought only estranged marriages break up, and just can’t comprehend this mumbo jumbo about remaining good friends after the divorce when it’s much better to be good friends within the marriage! ]
Post-separation, things start happening quite conveniently. A relationship is slowly developing between Bunty’s mother and the Good Samaritan widower neighbourhood doctor [Harsh Chhaya] in Pune, while something similar is brewing between Bunty’s father and his Bengali friend Shibani [Shibani Sengupta] in Mumbai. So Bunty’s parents divorce each other with mutual consent and remarry, and bask in happiness with their newfound loves, leaving Bunty psychologically confused and emotionally devastated. His mother gets a new husband, his father gets a new wife, and the hapless Bunty is left high and dry.
It is at this juncture that the movie truly takes off with a sensitive and realistic depiction of Bunty’s losing struggle to come to terms with harsh reality. There are no vamps and villains in this story. The bewildered Bunty just can’t cope up with the circumstances as they snowball beyond his control.
The brilliant perceptive direction by Bipin Nadkarni who inspires natural virtuoso performances from the gifted actors creates a powerful and engrossing film which leaves a lasting impact on the audience.
Aevdhe Se Aabhaal is a remarkable contemporary thought-provoking Marathi film with a most relevant message and deserves a much wider viewership. I wish they dub it in English, Hindi and other languages and release it all over, or maybe screen it on TV.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
AEVDHE SE AABHAAL
A Remarkable Contemporary Thought-Provoking Marathi Film with a most relevant message.
[ Reviewed by VIKRAM KARVE ]
Divorce is no longer an ugly word. It’s happening all around us. Rising expectations, coupled with diminishing tolerance levels, are taking their toll, even in the middle-class milieu of “conservative” towns and cities like Pune. Everyone wants a “perfect” relationship and “ideal” marriage, but they want it on their own terms. The modern mantra seems to be that if a relationship is not working it is better to sever it, split up, rather than endure and make efforts to patch up.
There are many stakeholders in a marriage, and divorce; the main ones being the husband, the wife, and the children. Aevdhe Se Aabhaal vividly portrays the repercussions of divorce on children, innocent victims who suffer for no fault of theirs.
Ten year old Bunty [played brilliantly by Rutvik Nadkarni] lives in Pune with his mother [Pratiksha Lonkar], a bank manager, separated from her husband [Ashok Shinde] who works in Mumbai. Bunty loves both his parents and looks forward to spending “quality time” with his father during his monthly visits. Now why the parents have split is a mystery as relationships seem quite cordial and amicable. [In my opinion “Amicable Divorce” is a most inexplicable oxymoron – if you can amicably divorce, why not amicably stay together? I thought only estranged marriages break up, and just can’t comprehend this mumbo jumbo about remaining good friends after the divorce when it’s much better to be good friends within the marriage! ]
Post-separation, things start happening quite conveniently. A relationship is slowly developing between Bunty’s mother and the Good Samaritan widower neighbourhood doctor [Harsh Chhaya] in Pune, while something similar is brewing between Bunty’s father and his Bengali friend Shibani [Shibani Sengupta] in Mumbai. So Bunty’s parents divorce each other with mutual consent and remarry, and bask in happiness with their newfound loves, leaving Bunty psychologically confused and emotionally devastated. His mother gets a new husband, his father gets a new wife, and the hapless Bunty is left high and dry.
It is at this juncture that the movie truly takes off with a sensitive and realistic depiction of Bunty’s losing struggle to come to terms with harsh reality. There are no vamps and villains in this story. The bewildered Bunty just can’t cope up with the circumstances as they snowball beyond his control.
The brilliant perceptive direction by Bipin Nadkarni who inspires natural virtuoso performances from the gifted actors creates a powerful and engrossing film which leaves a lasting impact on the audience.
Aevdhe Se Aabhaal is a remarkable contemporary thought-provoking Marathi film with a most relevant message and deserves a much wider viewership. I wish they dub it in English, Hindi and other languages and release it all over, or maybe screen it on TV.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
Divorce and Children
Movie Review
AEVDHE SE AABHAAL
A Remarkable Contemporary Thought-Provoking Marathi Film with a most relevant message.
[ Reviewed by VIKRAM KARVE ]
Divorce is no longer an ugly word. It’s happening all around us. Rising expectations, coupled with diminishing tolerance levels, are taking their toll, even in the middle-class milieu of “conservative” towns and cities like Pune. Everyone wants a “perfect” relationship and “ideal” marriage, but they want it on their own terms. The modern mantra seems to be that if a relationship is not working it is better to sever it, split up, rather than endure and make efforts to patch up.
There are many stakeholders in a marriage, and divorce; the main ones being the husband, the wife, and the children. Aevdhe Se Aabhaal vividly portrays the repercussions of divorce on children, innocent victims who suffer for no fault of theirs.
Ten year old Bunty [played brilliantly by Rutvik Nadkarni] lives in Pune with his mother [Pratiksha Lonkar], a bank manager, separated from her husband [Ashok Shinde] who works in Mumbai. Bunty loves both his parents and looks forward to spending “quality time” with his father during his monthly visits. Now why the parents have split is a mystery as relationships seem quite cordial and amicable. [In my opinion “Amicable Divorce” is a most inexplicable oxymoron – if you can amicably divorce, why not amicably stay together? I thought only estranged marriages break up, and just can’t comprehend this mumbo jumbo about remaining good friends after the divorce when it’s much better to be good friends within the marriage! ]
Post-separation, things start happening quite conveniently. A relationship is slowly developing between Bunty’s mother and the Good Samaritan widower neighbourhood doctor [Harsh Chhaya] in Pune, while something similar is brewing between Bunty’s father and his Bengali friend Shibani [Shibani Sengupta] in Mumbai. So Bunty’s parents divorce each other with mutual consent and remarry, and bask in happiness with their newfound loves, leaving Bunty psychologically confused and emotionally devastated. His mother gets a new husband, his father gets a new wife, and the hapless Bunty is left high and dry.
It is at this juncture that the movie truly takes off with a sensitive and realistic depiction of Bunty’s losing struggle to come to terms with harsh reality. There are no vamps and villains in this story. The bewildered Bunty just can’t cope up with the circumstances as they snowball beyond his control.
The brilliant perceptive direction by Bipin Nadkarni who inspires natural virtuoso performances from the gifted actors creates a powerful and engrossing film which leaves a lasting impact on the audience.
Aevdhe Se Aabhaal is a remarkable contemporary thought-provoking Marathi film with a most relevant message and deserves a much wider viewership. I wish they dub it in English, Hindi and other languages and release it all over, or maybe screen it on TV.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
AEVDHE SE AABHAAL
A Remarkable Contemporary Thought-Provoking Marathi Film with a most relevant message.
[ Reviewed by VIKRAM KARVE ]
Divorce is no longer an ugly word. It’s happening all around us. Rising expectations, coupled with diminishing tolerance levels, are taking their toll, even in the middle-class milieu of “conservative” towns and cities like Pune. Everyone wants a “perfect” relationship and “ideal” marriage, but they want it on their own terms. The modern mantra seems to be that if a relationship is not working it is better to sever it, split up, rather than endure and make efforts to patch up.
There are many stakeholders in a marriage, and divorce; the main ones being the husband, the wife, and the children. Aevdhe Se Aabhaal vividly portrays the repercussions of divorce on children, innocent victims who suffer for no fault of theirs.
Ten year old Bunty [played brilliantly by Rutvik Nadkarni] lives in Pune with his mother [Pratiksha Lonkar], a bank manager, separated from her husband [Ashok Shinde] who works in Mumbai. Bunty loves both his parents and looks forward to spending “quality time” with his father during his monthly visits. Now why the parents have split is a mystery as relationships seem quite cordial and amicable. [In my opinion “Amicable Divorce” is a most inexplicable oxymoron – if you can amicably divorce, why not amicably stay together? I thought only estranged marriages break up, and just can’t comprehend this mumbo jumbo about remaining good friends after the divorce when it’s much better to be good friends within the marriage! ]
Post-separation, things start happening quite conveniently. A relationship is slowly developing between Bunty’s mother and the Good Samaritan widower neighbourhood doctor [Harsh Chhaya] in Pune, while something similar is brewing between Bunty’s father and his Bengali friend Shibani [Shibani Sengupta] in Mumbai. So Bunty’s parents divorce each other with mutual consent and remarry, and bask in happiness with their newfound loves, leaving Bunty psychologically confused and emotionally devastated. His mother gets a new husband, his father gets a new wife, and the hapless Bunty is left high and dry.
It is at this juncture that the movie truly takes off with a sensitive and realistic depiction of Bunty’s losing struggle to come to terms with harsh reality. There are no vamps and villains in this story. The bewildered Bunty just can’t cope up with the circumstances as they snowball beyond his control.
The brilliant perceptive direction by Bipin Nadkarni who inspires natural virtuoso performances from the gifted actors creates a powerful and engrossing film which leaves a lasting impact on the audience.
Aevdhe Se Aabhaal is a remarkable contemporary thought-provoking Marathi film with a most relevant message and deserves a much wider viewership. I wish they dub it in English, Hindi and other languages and release it all over, or maybe screen it on TV.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
MICE and MOTIVATION
MICE and MOTIVATION
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Numerous theories have been formulated, tomes and tomes written, and Management Gurus pontificate to their hearts’ content, on the subject of Motivation, but to put it simply, I feel that, in a nutshell, all the motivators, or motivating factors, can be encapsulated in the acronym “MICE”.
Let’s expand MICE – Money, Insecurity, Cause, Ego.
In today’s materialistic world Money is probably the primary motivating factor. Need I say more?
Fear and Insecurity have always been powerful motivators for ages. Though negative in nature, these are used quite often by many organizations and bosses.
Many idealistic persons are motivated for a Cause, ideology, belief, passion, love, ambition, or to realize one’s “life-mission”.
The role of Ego, pride, self-importance, self-respect [“izzat”] and self-actualization as a motivator is significant in some cases.
MICE and Motivation – they are inextricably linked, isn’t it?
Dear Reader, tell us what you feel?
VIKRAM KARVE
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Numerous theories have been formulated, tomes and tomes written, and Management Gurus pontificate to their hearts’ content, on the subject of Motivation, but to put it simply, I feel that, in a nutshell, all the motivators, or motivating factors, can be encapsulated in the acronym “MICE”.
Let’s expand MICE – Money, Insecurity, Cause, Ego.
In today’s materialistic world Money is probably the primary motivating factor. Need I say more?
Fear and Insecurity have always been powerful motivators for ages. Though negative in nature, these are used quite often by many organizations and bosses.
Many idealistic persons are motivated for a Cause, ideology, belief, passion, love, ambition, or to realize one’s “life-mission”.
The role of Ego, pride, self-importance, self-respect [“izzat”] and self-actualization as a motivator is significant in some cases.
MICE and Motivation – they are inextricably linked, isn’t it?
Dear Reader, tell us what you feel?
VIKRAM KARVE
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
Monday, March 05, 2007
Parenting
HOW TO SPOIL YOUR CHILDREN
[and how not to]
By
VIKRAM KARVE
It seems to be in thing today to have spoilt children. I was a strict old-fashioned father, but looking around, I have realized that in today’s world, where materialistic desires overshadow traditional values, my ascetic style of parenting is hopelessly outmoded and distinctly passé. It’s too late for me to change now, so let me pontificate a bit on what I did not do.
Apart from the conventional vices like drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling etc, all types of new and novel temptations and addictions like Internet, Gaming, TV, sex, compulsive spending and shopping, indulging in wild reckless behaviour, breaking the law and criminal thrills are on the rise and indeed becoming status symbols in some sections of society. There is plenty of choice available for those who want to “live it up”. For children in today’s consumerist society there is no place for concepts of thrift and frugality and conspicuous consumption and expensive lifestyles are more important. Pamper your kids, pander to all their whims and fancies and they will love you; and, of course, in the long run they will ruin their own lives and cause you distress.
If you want to spoil your children remember there are four factors or resources that help develop and nurture bad habits, addictions and anti-social behaviour: TIME, INCLINATION, OPPORTUNITY, MONEY.
TIME: One must have time to indulge in whatever one’s pursuits, good or bad. So, if you want to spoil your children, don’t burden them with too many “mundane” things like studies, sports, hobbies etc so that they have plenty of leisure time to live it up and pursue their temptations to their heart’s content.
INCLINATION: This depends on your sense of values, home and family atmosphere, social environment, religious and cultural taboos, peer pressure, influence of school and friends. Are you inculcating the right values in your kids by your own actions?
I’ll give a real life example. My friend’s son, age 15, lost his expensive mobile cell-phone forgetting it in a taxi due to his own carelessness and negligence. Instead of admonishing him, my friend bought him the latest, even more expensive and fancy cell-phone. Obviously the boy had no remorse, guilt or regret at losing the expensive gadget, and instead of feeling contrite and responsible, displayed a “couldn’t care” attitude. Can one even expect such actions of parents to inculcate the correct values of thrift, frugality and responsibility in their children? If you drink, smoke, and party in front of your children, won’t they be inclined to do the same? How about your friends, your kids’ friends, their behaviour, and the general atmosphere and culture around? What are your own values? If you’re going to “live it up”, flaunt your lifestyle, be corrupt and dishonest, your kids will be inclined to do so too!
OPPORTUNITY: You have the Time, you have the Inclination, but do you have the opportunity to do what you want to do? Suppose you want to drink, but there is prohibition in force? Or religious, social, cultural taboos which do not give you the opportunity to drink? Opportunity to indulge in an activity is governed by external circumstances, rules and regulations, which either inhibits or makes it conducive for you to do what you want. Enforcement of restrictions like No-Smoking Zones, Prohibition, No Entry into Bars and Pubs for Kids inhibit opportunity. Or do you want to give your kids a laissez faire opportunity to do what they want?
MONEY: If you want to spoil your children make sure you give them plenty of money to splurge and to do as they please. “Vices” and profligate lifestyles are expensive, you know? Give them the latest gadgets and gizmos, cars and bikes, pander to all their whims and fancies, and never ask them to account for their extravagant spending. You’ve open-mindedly given your kids the time, the inclination, and the opportunity, but finally it’s the money that matters! It’s money that helps them sustain their vices and habits.
So go ahead, spoil your kids if you want to; but if you don’t want to, you know what to do, don’t you? Just remember the four key factors – Monitor their Time, give them the proper Inclination in life, restrict their Opportunity for undesirable activities, and, last but not the least, keep a tight leash on their Money.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
[and how not to]
By
VIKRAM KARVE
It seems to be in thing today to have spoilt children. I was a strict old-fashioned father, but looking around, I have realized that in today’s world, where materialistic desires overshadow traditional values, my ascetic style of parenting is hopelessly outmoded and distinctly passé. It’s too late for me to change now, so let me pontificate a bit on what I did not do.
Apart from the conventional vices like drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling etc, all types of new and novel temptations and addictions like Internet, Gaming, TV, sex, compulsive spending and shopping, indulging in wild reckless behaviour, breaking the law and criminal thrills are on the rise and indeed becoming status symbols in some sections of society. There is plenty of choice available for those who want to “live it up”. For children in today’s consumerist society there is no place for concepts of thrift and frugality and conspicuous consumption and expensive lifestyles are more important. Pamper your kids, pander to all their whims and fancies and they will love you; and, of course, in the long run they will ruin their own lives and cause you distress.
If you want to spoil your children remember there are four factors or resources that help develop and nurture bad habits, addictions and anti-social behaviour: TIME, INCLINATION, OPPORTUNITY, MONEY.
TIME: One must have time to indulge in whatever one’s pursuits, good or bad. So, if you want to spoil your children, don’t burden them with too many “mundane” things like studies, sports, hobbies etc so that they have plenty of leisure time to live it up and pursue their temptations to their heart’s content.
INCLINATION: This depends on your sense of values, home and family atmosphere, social environment, religious and cultural taboos, peer pressure, influence of school and friends. Are you inculcating the right values in your kids by your own actions?
I’ll give a real life example. My friend’s son, age 15, lost his expensive mobile cell-phone forgetting it in a taxi due to his own carelessness and negligence. Instead of admonishing him, my friend bought him the latest, even more expensive and fancy cell-phone. Obviously the boy had no remorse, guilt or regret at losing the expensive gadget, and instead of feeling contrite and responsible, displayed a “couldn’t care” attitude. Can one even expect such actions of parents to inculcate the correct values of thrift, frugality and responsibility in their children? If you drink, smoke, and party in front of your children, won’t they be inclined to do the same? How about your friends, your kids’ friends, their behaviour, and the general atmosphere and culture around? What are your own values? If you’re going to “live it up”, flaunt your lifestyle, be corrupt and dishonest, your kids will be inclined to do so too!
OPPORTUNITY: You have the Time, you have the Inclination, but do you have the opportunity to do what you want to do? Suppose you want to drink, but there is prohibition in force? Or religious, social, cultural taboos which do not give you the opportunity to drink? Opportunity to indulge in an activity is governed by external circumstances, rules and regulations, which either inhibits or makes it conducive for you to do what you want. Enforcement of restrictions like No-Smoking Zones, Prohibition, No Entry into Bars and Pubs for Kids inhibit opportunity. Or do you want to give your kids a laissez faire opportunity to do what they want?
MONEY: If you want to spoil your children make sure you give them plenty of money to splurge and to do as they please. “Vices” and profligate lifestyles are expensive, you know? Give them the latest gadgets and gizmos, cars and bikes, pander to all their whims and fancies, and never ask them to account for their extravagant spending. You’ve open-mindedly given your kids the time, the inclination, and the opportunity, but finally it’s the money that matters! It’s money that helps them sustain their vices and habits.
So go ahead, spoil your kids if you want to; but if you don’t want to, you know what to do, don’t you? Just remember the four key factors – Monitor their Time, give them the proper Inclination in life, restrict their Opportunity for undesirable activities, and, last but not the least, keep a tight leash on their Money.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
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